Today was a weird day. My mom took me back to the vet for the THIRD time this year. I normally only have to go once a year, but for some reason this year I had to have a second visit where they first tried to trick me to pee in a cup then stuck this tube into my peeing part that shocked me so much I excited peed all over the place. What the fluff!
Our visit started off like most vet visits. Mom yanking the slip lead when I got out of the car reminding me to be a good boy and listen to her. She gives me this reminder when we go places where there could be fun things to distract me or things I want to chase and put in my mouth. We checked in and went to our spot off to the side of the waiting room for our appointment. Mom doesn’t like me sitting near the front doors because there are a lot of small dogs in our new town. Mom says there is an inverse correlation between wealth and size of dogs here. I am not sure what this means about my family, but I digress. As we were waiting for my time to go into the back room, my mom’s eyes got really big and she tried to keep my attention from a man coming into the vet carrying his cat in his ARMS. I never get to see my cat friends in the waiting room because they are always in these ugly plastic carriers with holes in them. Not this cat. He was perched happily in his owner’s arms. They checked in and the man walked towards us. Mom said something in her panic voice about “high prey drive” and I like to put tiny animals in my mouth. The man wasn’t phased at all. Said he was going into one of the back rooms soon. Thankfully a smart person from the front desk made that happen super fast before I could decide whether or not I wanted to play with the cat.
After the cat excitement, it was my turn in the back room. After some chit chat about my new Overweight Management food…. humans are so silly that they think I don’t know that is the same thing as diet food. Then the technician took me to the back where I did let her stick me with a needle again. But then she tried to put me on the table, and I saw that clear tube again. Nope. Nada. Not falling for that pee trick again. Lots of people where trying to help at this point, but I was having none of it. I did really have to pee though because mom wouldn’t let me do my regular morning pee in the back yard, and she also wouldn’t let me mark my places in front of the vet, so during my tube protest, I peed on two of the technicians trying to put that tube into my pee part. I even got one right in the face. Take that, vet tech!
They finally took me back to mom, and boy was I glad to see her. I sat on her foot for comfort as she talked to the nice vet about my kidney values. Apparently mine are slightly elevated, whatever that means. If my labs still show the slight elevation, they will monitor with more needle sticks and once I am no longer considered overweight I will have to start a new food specifically designed to help with kidney functioning. But the nice vet and my mom were super happy that I had already lost 2 pounds on the “Overweight Management” AKA diet food in less than a month. Looks like I will be a lean, furry machine soon.
Fingers crossed this is my last vet visit for a while. That place is a lot for a big boy with big feelings.