I just finished this memoir, and it left me with so many thoughts. More than anything, I’m proud of the woman the author became after experiencing such unexpected trauma. I’m proud that she stayed true to herself, even when people told her not to share her story. She chose honesty over comfort, authenticity over silence.
I also agree with her reflection that her children watched how she processed that trauma. They saw her tell the truth, stand by her choices, and refuse to let shame write the ending. Those lessons will shape the relationships they build far more than any advice she could have given them.
As I read, I found myself relating to parts of her story.
At sixteen, I accidentally found myself in a relationship with a boy during a time when I was deeply insecure and unsure of myself. I followed that same boy to college. Looking back, I know our relationship wasn’t healthy, but the truth is I didn’t have many healthy relationships to model. My parents slept in separate bedrooms for my entire childhood. I never knew them as a couple who made decisions together or navigated life as true partners. Like the author, I didn’t really know what a healthy relationship looked like.
When that relationship eventually ended (also not on my terms) I was forced to rebuild. And that’s the part of my story I’m most proud of. I became a woman who knows her worth. A woman who is confident, independent, and deeply grateful for the life she’s built.
Our experiences shape us. We can’t go back and change the choices we made with the knowledge we had at the time. But we can learn from them. We can share our stories honestly. And maybe, by doing so, help someone else recognize their own worth a little sooner than we did.