I wrote about interrupting when we were all trying to learn how to re-navigate the in person social world post pandemic, but it came up again recently in a place I did not expect. Most people who know me know that I have a love of all things true crime related. My poor husband gets peppered with talk of things like a Franks Motion, Writ of Mandamus during weekend dinners (Hello to fellow readers following the craziness of the Delphi case. And thanks Ms Buckner for four years of high school Latin!). He tries to pay attention, but eventually during these discussions he encourages me to go to law school to provide an appropriate outlet for all of this random knowledge.
I digress… recently there was a Live with the hosts of The Prosecutors Podcast and the hosts of the Defense Diaries Podcast to talk about….. what else…. Delphi. The conversation got a bit heated, and people in the Facebook groups were concerned about some people talking over others. Of course, one of the people talked over was the female (gasp). I decided to chime in with a little lesson on interrupting.
People automatically assume that all forms of interrupting are bad. And, I will start off by saying that we teach children NOT to interrupt. But it happens, and it is not always bad. There are, in fact, two types of interrupting: fair and rude.
Fair interruptions are when you are excited about what the other person is talking about, so your words “bump” into theirs when they are talking. Rude interruptions are when you talk over the other person to make them stop talking.
I am super guilty of fair interruptions, but that does not make them ok. Someone in the conversation has to do the “back down” strategy when interrupting happens. And it should not always be the person who was interrupted, which is what happens most often. What I try to teach kids (and sometimes other grown ups) is to recognize when they fairly interrupt and practice the “back down” strategy and let the other person finish what they were saying. A lot of the time, if you practice the “back down,” you will learn more information that will make what you want to add to the conversation even more meaningful.
Social interactions are very nuanced and can be hard to teach. I love that I can still teach some of those nuanced skills in my true crime world friendships. Teachers are always teaching!