Once again, The Bloggess has come to my rescue. The first time was in 2015, the fall after my mother’s unexpected death. I struggled a lot that summer, and I will always remember the conversation with my husband on the way to a birthday dinner for our son with his parents…. so timing was not his forte, but the message was one I needed to hear. He said he wanted the regular Kristan back. I was so lost in my grief that summer that I had not even noticed how it had impacted the whole family. As I was trying to figure out how to get me back, I read a review of Furiously Happy in People magazine and decided I needed to read that book. The premise of the book is that you have to fight to be happy, even when it is hard. So I decided to fight, claw, dig deep, and all of the things in order to be happy again. And I did it.
The last 6 months with our move was another really hard time for me. Not wanting to move, not wanting to leave our home of 27 years, doing almost the entire move solo almost killed me emotionally, physically and mentally. I am happy in our new home, I really am, but I am also feeling a little lost. Both kiddos are in college, I am in a new home/town, and living alone most of the time while the husband builds his new private practice. I am editing and publishing Smooch’s World (originally published in the fall of 2019 but the publishing company went out of business during the pandemic) and writing my next book My Pandemic Puppies: The good, the bad, the lovely, but have been feeling a bit lost with my new role of parent of adult children who really don’t need me anymore. I find myself asking who is 50 year old Kristan? Who does she want to be?
So imagine my surprise when The Bloggess posted about feeling lost and asked the question “why is it so hard to remember that the person responsible for taking care of me is me?” She started a Substack where creatives can share their work with each other, and best of all, her Substack will have drawings you can download and color just like her NYT Bestselling coloring book. So a community of like minded people and weekly coloring therapy (as I like to call it). Win/win, right? Check out the first drawing she posted after her daughter went away to college. Hello, what mom doesn’t feel like the lady in the picture?
Thanks, as always, Jenny Lawson (AKA The Bloggess) for keeping it real, helping us take care of ourselves and others. I am so lucky to have found your new community.
PS – I have struck out with a few ways to find that much needed “more structure” with my days, but I do have a few promising leads that I hope to share about later on. A reminder to myself to keep trying even when things don’t pan out like you thought they would. Keep trying to find out who you are supposed to be in this phase of life. You are worth it.