The world according to Bailey

The world according to Bailey

My name is Bailey, and I have been with my new family for almost 3 months now. My mom asked me to be a guest blogger today, so I thought what the heck, why not. She said I could be honest but it needed to be a happy post because she feels like the world is ending (whatever that means).

Let’s start with my mom because I love her the most. She spends sooo much time with me, and I love every minute. She calls me her “Pandemic Puppy” which must be a good thing because she smiles when she says it. She talks to her computer a lot and every other week goes out to the workshop in the back yard to talk to a bunch of girls on her computer. I get to sit in on these meetings if I have a chew toy to keep me occupied. For these meetings that she calls “Zoom,” I am an honorary Girl Scout. The girls always squeal when I am in front of the camera. I was not allowed at one meeting, though because of my behavior. It was called the Virtual Super Hero Kick Off Party. My mom wore a mask and a red wig, which I did not like.

My dad spends a lot of time with me too but he has started leaving the house more. He mostly talks to his computer in his office in a super loud voice. The computer talks back to him and the conversations are always about poop or acid reflux. He has a strange ritual when he comes home from work too. He takes off all of his clothes that my mom puts in a washing thing and he squirts this clear liquid on his hands, takes a shower, then gives me lots of love. Speaking of that clear liquid. There are bottles of it everywhere and everyone, well mainly my mom and dad, squirt it on their hands all the time. I am not sure why since it doesn’t smell good.

I love going into my sister’s room because there are always things all over the floor. I especially like to eat her socks and underwear, which my mom does not approve of. My sister calls me her poodle and says she loves me a lot. She also says that I am the cutest dog she has ever seen.

I have not spent a lot of time with my brother. He spends most of his time upstairs. And one day he left for a really long time with my dad and came home with a long black thing on his leg and crutches. My mom said something about an ACL, but I am not sure what that means. He doesn’t walk with crutches anymore and has started coming downstairs more since I am getting better about not jumping on people when I get excited.

I have not made any animal friends which makes me a little sad. The cats really don’t like me, even though I am super sweet to them. The big fluffy orange one they call Fireball walks into the house as slowly as possible to his throne of steps. The other one is called Banjo. He is a little more tolerant of me but still not my friend yet. I will keep trying.

I also tried to befriend the chickens in the back yard. I really like to lick them, but they do not like it when I do it. My mom made a fence to keep me out of their area, but I knocked it over easily. The next thing I knew, a man came to the house and put up a fence that I couldn’t knock down. Mom says we can all live harmoniously this way, whatever that means.

When I first came home to my new family, I did not like riding in cars. I would get sick every time. But now that I am 6 months old, I can ride in the car with the windows down and the breeze blowing my poodle like curls in the wind. Every now and then my mom and sister take me to the place with a green sign. My sister begs to go to this place a lot. They get drinks and I get what is called a Puppuccino. It tastes heavenly.

My mom does this weird thing on certain days. She goes out to the workshop and jumps around while a man on her phone screams at her. I get a chewy for this too so I do not jump around with her. Sometimes she does weird moves on a mat. My job is to move the mat when she is not using it. I take this job very seriously.

I love the pond in the front woods of my new house. There are water plants in it that I like to take and move to different locations. I have almost fallen in a few times which was a little scary.

Another place we drive to gives out dog biscuits along with the packages my mom gets. I take the biscuit but most of the time I do not eat it. I am not really food motivated, which my mom thinks is strange. There is one thing, however, that I love. It is not a dog treat, though. Small circles are in a red bag in the drawer of the kitchen. My mom and dad sneak and eat these circles when they think no one is watching. I think my mom calls these circles “Skittles.” I will perform any trick to get one.

I am proud to report that I was potty trained (that means only pee and poop outside) within one week of being at my new house. My mom is happiest when I poop in the vines in the back yard for some reason. If I poop other places she has this shovel tool that she scoops it up with and throws it over the fence. I was also trained on the Invisible Fence within 3 weeks, which the man who put out the little white flags says was pretty amazing. I also know when my family members are arriving home. My mom’s phone makes this special sound, which is my cue to go to the front door. I think she calls it Life360.

Well, that is about it. I love my new family and love the fact that they spend so much time with me. I hope it is like this forever.

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