Last week I almost quit my job of parenting my teen girl. I really considered it. The past 2 years parenting a teen girl have been HARD, and I mean hard y’all.
She has been working through a lot, so I want that to be taken into account. But somehow our family’s daily functioning has been revolving around her ever changing mood. And after 2 years of this with no end in sight, I was done. How do you find the balance of support without letting the teenage mood take control? That, my friends, is the million dollar question.
But since I cannot quit this job, I had to do some reflecting to figure out how stay somewhat sane during these parenting years. And I am sharing because parenting teens is lonely AF. There are no support groups or outlets for us to share that we are all fighting the good fight and hope that our teens turn out to be contributing members of society as adults.
- That amazing therapist that the teen girl has been working with… guess what? She also sees adults. I made an appointment for myself later this week.
- Ground rules have been established about social activities. I know that being busy is good for her brain, but her social schedule will no longer dictate the schedule of the entire family. If she wants to hang out with friends, for example, she has to ASK a parent before committing to said activity (and not 5 minutes before activity is scheduled to start). Also the word no will be used more liberally when requests are made that do not fit easily into the family schedule.
- Do not take it personally when she is super happy and in a great mood when with friends, but as soon as she is with you she turns sullen and sad. This one will be hard for me, just admitting that up front.
Those are my top 3 for now. I would love to hear from other parents of teens about your coping strategies. And according to my BFR (best running friend) who has “seen this movie and read this book” (the parent of a college age girl) this girl will return to me as that happy, well adjusted person she used to be. My BFR hasn’t let me down yet, so I am holding onto this hope tightly, especially during the really bad weeks like last one.