The holidays require a lot of socializing with people you might not normally socialize with. This is a time of year I try to balance pushing and giving in with my social anxiety. The balance can be hard to find. For me, it is the anticipation of the event that creates the anxiety…. who will be there, will I be dressed appropriately, what small talk topics do I need to have handy….
My mom really struggled with social anxiety combined with depression. So she would have all of those “what if” questions combined with making plans and then not having the ability emotionally to follow through with the plans. I saw it play out time and time again as a child, and again as a parent when she made plans with my kiddos and then was not able to follow through. It got to the point where I did not even tell my children when she was coming, so they were not disappointed when she canceled at the last minute.
So here is my struggle. I am almost 53 years old… the season where women can unapologetically not give a f-ck about saying no to things they no longer feel are things they need to do if they do not want to. The question is how to balance not wanting to give into to your social anxiety while also honoring your no longer giving a f-ck.
I will close with a story from the work holiday party I attended. I dreaded it all day in anticipation. Had some Kava tea and did some deep breathing beforehand. But guess what? My husband got a text the next day saying his wife was “super awesome.” The extrovert husband took that as a sign I needed to socialize more…. Bahahaha. But this story does show that I am capable of socializing appropriately. And, I did meet someone who could be a new friend.
But back to the initial question – when to push and when to give in to social anxiety? Such a hard space to be in as an introvert. I am guessing the best case scenario is doing a little of both depending on your age and circumstances.