You would think since I did college drop off for the first time last fall that this time around would be easier. With our move, dropping not one, but two kiddos off to college now requires both parents and hotel rooms. Our plan is for the husband to drop off Aidan for his sophomore year this coming weekend, and I will do move in with the girl since her move in day is in the middle of the following week. Dividing up also means the pups do no have to be boarded at the new boarding place twice in one week.
Now for the real reason for writing this post… how do you best support your technically grown up children when they move into college? Last year there were still COVID restrictions in place, so after the initial move in day, only one parent could be in the dorm room at a time. Since we got very little intel from our guy when we visited at the end of August for his birthday, I was sent in as the designated parent to check out his room for any details. I found a semi clean room with evidence of both studying and having fun, which made us a lot more relaxed. Only hearing “good” or “I’m doing fine” those first few weeks was hard. We wanted LOTS more information than that.
Since I am moving in the fiercely independent one, I am trying to establish expectations and how she wants me to help her BEFORE move in day. I won’t be able to get to her campus until noon on move in day, so I am hoping by the time I arrive she will have a list of things she needs me to do, and it will be clear how I can best help. I am also well aware that college move in can be a stressful process and am telling myself not to take it personally if I am the person she takes her stress and anxiety out on. Fingers crossed it goes well. We have a mother/daughter bonding activity on Thursday morning before I leave, so I am focusing on that as much as I can. The activity was actually her idea, which made my heart very happy. She has been wanting us to get matching tattoos for a while, but in NC you have to be 18 years old. She found a stamp design with a wild azalea on it and suggested we make the postage 81 cents as a way to remember our family home of 81 Wild Azalea Lane.
Other things I am trying to remind myself:
Do give a big hug before saying goodbye.
Don’t ask them to call you every single day (or call them daily).
Do leave a sweet card under their pillow to read once you are gone.
Don’t cry. It will make them feel guilty for becoming amazing human beings who are going to change the world.