Once again I created my own Storyworth prompt. This week in honor of Mother’s Day. A holiday that I have dreaded ever since my mom died unexpectedly the Wednesday after Mother’s Day in 2015. I wrote about the build up and how I have dealt with this anniversary in a post last year.

This year some unexpected connections made a huge impact on me. A Beautiful Together foster took in sweet Teddy 5 months ago. I have been following his story and getting to know his amazing foster. Teddy had (has) major trust issues. He spent the first week at his foster family’s home tunneled under their outbuilding. Then he escaped their 7-foot fence and spent another week at the edge of their property just watching them. When he finally came inside, he would only hang out with the family when the foster’s partner was at home. The rest of the time he hid under the bed. With time, patience, and love, Teddy gradually trusted other family members. His foster made this post on social media Saturday. I have edited her post to not share her personal story, because it is just that, hers. But Teddy’s story and how he taught her about being a mom/motherhood/life had a huge impact on me. Friends who know me, know that I do not cry. But her post made me snot cry and reflect so much about my relationship with my mom and her unexpected death. Here is that post:

So. Mother’s Day. Let’s have a chat.

READ BC THIS INVOLVES TEDDY:

I will always work on myself and it’s 100% for my kids. I’m trying. And while I try and age I understand my own mother more. That relationship is…hard. Though the relationships I’ve managed with my kids is such a triumph based on what I came from. Fast forward to Teddy. Talk about God sending you a lesson. In the past 5 months since he came here, I have wrestled so much with, well, me…and my insecurities. WHY DOESN’T THIS DOG LIKE ME?! Teddy is teaching me to be quieter. To not react so fast. To pay attention to my energy, and breathe through it. Teddy is teaching me to be the mom I wish I was for my kids when they were little. And though they aren’t anymore, I think he’s given our family the gift of me (hopefully) as a better mom to everyone-what my kids deserve and need. And so, I just told @beautifultogethersanctuary that I’m adopting Teddy. He’s forever here. Motherhood feels impossible so often-because I feel like I lack in so many ways…money, patience, time, knowledge. Teddy just needs love. Kids just need love. Surrender and it’ll make you better. God, the Universe…whatever…finds a way to teach us lessons. Pay attention and you’ll get there.

Our animals teach us so much about life… if we stop and listen. As I was doing my morning drive with the pups Mother’s Day morning, I could literally feel my mom saying “enough, move on, enjoy your special day.” It literally felt like I could breathe again, like I had been holding my breath since 2015. So this Mother’s Day I was grateful for Teddy, his foster and our friendship, and Beautiful Together Animal Sanctuary.

Whew. I cannot believe it took me 7 years to get to this place, but as I actually enjoyed Mother’s Day yesterday, I realized it needed to happen.

Next up: reflections about the lessons my Bailey and Appa Bear have taught me, and are still teaching me each and every day.

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