There is a lot of uncertainty at our house. And this is coming after a 5mo timeframe with me moving to a different department with work. I still cannot believe it took 5 months, but it did. Oh, and I hate uncertainty and my brain loves to play the “what if game.” Here is a summary of our current state of affairs.

My new position is super rewarding. I get to coordinate outreach programming, work with over 700 girls in 4 counties, and write and edit program materials. But this new position is part time, so I have had more time on my hands lately. I am definitely better with more structure.

The teen girl is not happy with her high school experience, but to move to a new school in 10th grade is not going to be easy. We have 5 charter schools and 1 private school option and will hopefully have good news in early March. But my “what if brain” keeps asking the same question… what if we get a no from all schools? Then what?

We have started to entertain the idea of a new dog. I have been looking into rescue groups so that we can avoid the puppy phase and know more about the dog before he/she joins the family. The most important qualities are: non cat chasers, non counter surfers, house trained.

I have submitted applications with 3 organizations, and literally nothing. We had one home visit to see how we interacted with a large dog, but it is starting to feel like a popularity contest we cannot win.

So, I need more to do. The teen girl needs a new school. And is a dog in our future?

In my newly found spare time, I have been reading and watching stories about children wrongfully convicted of crimes. The book Just Mercy was eye opening. The idea that a child could be wrongly convicted of a crime at age 14 and be sent to death row was shocking. Next up was When They See Us, a docuseries on Netflix.

How anyone could read Just Mercy and not feel compelled to do something about our criminal justice system is beyond me. And how anyone could hear about the story of Korey Wise and not be embarrassed that this could happen to an innocent bystander, again impossible to believe.

So around all the uncertainty in my current life, I have decided that after that early March deadline, I am moving up my plans to be a Guardian ad Litem. The original plan was to start this role once the teens went off to college. Click here for the original post on empty nest plans. But the time is there, I have the desire. And as a young girl in the 1980’s, I dreamed of being a lawyer. I have a video of a super Southern me talking about my career aspirations. Check it out here if you promise not to make fun of my Southern accent.

My “what if brain” is happy with at least something set in stone. Does anyone else struggle with uncertainty?

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